Lucinda, the engineer: the mission of a concerted father
(OK, I will post this again, now in English, for all the people that asked what this was about -- I translated it really quick, there might be some mistakes but you get the idea)
My daughter puts a red crayon in one of the cracks she found on the plastic table where she plays with letters, numbers, and buttons to music and other sounds, and she tries to see if she can draw and drag the button at the same time. I recognize in her a curiosity about how things work, a pleasure in discovering how we can use what we have in new contexts and get new things, other ingenious and creative results. I smile, and the teacher, that I cannot not be, thinks she might take an interest in engineering. Immediately occurs to me that that world, even more than the rest of the world, is heavily dominated by men, many with many certainties about gender hierarchies, many of them product of a world that makes them believe and defend a facade of security that hides the debris of a lonely misery, which is so threatened by women for being so transparent to them, that makes the presence of women undesirable and unsuitable for those men.I look inside and promise to do everything possible not to crush the clear vitality of this little girl. I fight against the expectations of a world I find increasingly hostile to women, and I worry about the expectations it has that I tame this unrestricted and distinctive spirit, and that I produce a castrated consciousness, available, and happy in its belittling. The thing is, there is no condition for this to happen while my conscience breathes, resists and actively combats this installed spiritual mutilation. However, I am concerned that I had never been aware of this hostility until my daughter was born and I'm afraid of the automatic behaviors that take over us, over me, when we lower the defenses and act mechanically.I want my daughter to occupy all the spaces she is entitled, if it is the case to occupy, I want her to enjoy and create every opportunity she wants, if she wants it, and to be able to realize the potentials that she decides that matter to her. However, I recognize that the range of options that society recognizes her is much more limited than the ones she has. This worries me because I have to prepare her to know when to fight and when to remove herself from a situation, I have to prepare her to confront and to know when it is not worth it, but I have to do all this without breaking the little singular light she carries. I need to find a way to give her perspective so that she can make her walk through life, reading each time someone tries to reduce her, as an instance of an unequal system that arbitrarily considers her less without even knowing her. This will be essential for her to come out of these experiences with her spirit intact, certain that they reveal nothing about her, they simply reflect an unjust system and the debilitating way we educate our boys, who grow up to be the weak boys and men of this world, to be a reduced version of they could effectively be. These situations will result of their feebleness and must stay with them, these situations will state nothing about my daughter or her right to live the fullness of her mental and emotional capabilities in the pursuit of happiness to be in herself and to be in relation to others.Therefore, I will always follow the struggles of women who raise their chin, I will give my voice, I will exercise the privilege that my manhood brings me to speak in the spaces where they cannot go, I will tell men that we can be better than what we have received and we can do more with what we already have. I will talk of my disgust everywhere where women cannot speak, in all situations and in all contexts, in the certainty that I will fail, I will not get much, but I'll get something.